And So Change

Dear Spirits of Those I Still Love

It is most unfortunate you are not here to see me grow
You see though how my success is unprecedented now
The abundance that wraps its arms about my spirit is clear
The manifestation makes me feel as a seer
And you, spirits, would laugh with me at how we could play.

You would enjoy this shoreline where I frolic
feel my smile from across the room and absorb it
gain pleasure from mine own and share in the wealth
of this knowledge, so freeing, as we'd celebrate our health
together, unencumbered loving each and every day.

Though you be not here in the physical sense
Be it known that I think of you when the walls seem dense
and the light seems to dim and my energy sinks
after passionate love affairs and one-too-many-drinks
when I know you'd appreciate the joy of my experience.

I'd cry that you left this place too soon
and run and hide at the coming of each moon
but for the freedom and intimacy and growth
which daily reminds me that I can have both
what you wanted and what I wanted

without compromise.

Dear Spirits of Those I Still Love,

I am on the path you wished me to find,
and though I wish I'd found it in kind
please wish for me the best as before
and someday I'll know we could not have been more.

Whilst Attending Wedding

This past weekend I attended my friend Jon's wedding (to his lovely bride Tina) in Washington, DC. It was a semi-formal event, you know, blue suit & funky tie, very lovely decor and held in the gorgeous Old Ebbitt Atrium in downtown. Good times were had by all and I have since confirmed that it was not drunken-ness that caused the good times. Indeed people were actually rejoicing, genuinely enjoying a little Hava Negila action (it was a mixed Jewish/Christian wedding, non-denominational) and forgetting about their stress for a short while. But I did make two mental notes which I think are worth blogging about:

1. Crackberry addicts are out of control. Like guns and bad-attitudes they should be checked at the door of all weddings. Black-tie not Blackberry. I think it shows a sign that many of my generation are so 'connected' that they are completely disconnected from the reality of life: that the moments of life only come once. It's particuarly important to note that those moments don't require a wedding to happen! They are happening RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW. So put down the Crackberry and dance, my friends. Sing, honored guests. And laugh and smile, oh lovely relatives. The emails will still be waiting when you next decide to zone-out. Hopefully that will be by conscious choice during a time that you're on-the-clock. I am proud to say I did not even think about my phone. Jon & Tina your wedding was beautiful and I remained fully present even when moon-walking on the dance floor.
   
   
2. On a different note, why do my best friends in this universe only gather once every 3 years when somebody gets hitched? Hell, last time it was my own wedding so one might say that I set a precedent of only gathering for big-time occasions. I'm not saying we can have a weekly gathering since we live in Kentucky, Los Angeles, Orange County and Washington, DC. But can't we see each other more often than every 36 months? How about an alumni event in Boulder, CO where we all attended school? Hell, I'd settle for a conference call (we could write it off then too!).
   
   The awesome & sad part is that we all picked up right where we left off sans the deep philosophical semi-bullshit semi-amazing conversations we'd had in college. Is that a bad thing? Not necessarily. Perhaps we're mature enough not to require that anymore. But it does show that we're so busy these days that it's just enough to fly in for the ceremony and then head out of town having danced, drank and given a few hugs. There are children in the picture, wives, important jobs... even Presidential campaigns.
   
   I don't really know what my point is (it often gets wrapped up in some convoluted poetic lyric somewhere). Perhaps it's that life goes on despite birth & death, wedding & divorce, love & heartbreak. We share the same experiences, however different the circumstances. We are one energy, one world. So when those rare moments come, whether every 3 years or every 3 decades, taking the time to make a mental note, take a digital photo, nod to a snapshot in time or write a blog; it's important for one's mental health to be present even if it's just long enough to say, "Oh yeah. This is why I'm grateful for all those things back home." Find your own 3-year-bonding and make every moment that special.
   
   Gaze out and realize that those moments are going on every second of every day. It ain't about the money. It ain't about the 'big day'. I believe it's about taking notice of a too-fleeting presence of mind.
   

That being said, I spent most of this glorious occasion breaking it down on the dance floor and I now share the photo proof that you've all been anxiously awaiting.

DC Trip, May 2007

Congratulations Jon & Tina. Thanks to all the friends I met again, met for the first time and will someday see again. Mazel Tov!

The Perfect Nap

I've met people who didn't' like napping. Most of the time I had trouble relating to them but it didn't mean we couldn't be friends or lovers. Just that most of the time they had generalized issues with sleeping that I've never experienced.

Usually I have no issues napping whatsoever. I love a good afternoon sleep. I am positive that I was once a lion (or possibly still am). For instance, this weekend I had a divine nap. This was a nap of the most perfect sort. Perfect length, perfect conditions, perfect outage of my brain. Allow me to elaborate (hey, it's my blog so I can elaborate all I want)...

On Saturday I had the type of day that comes along once in a blue moon. The type where you are out all day and managed to think of everything you'd need to have with you if you were gone all day doing a variety of activities. If I had made a list and checked it twice I'd still have forgotten something but somehow on this day I did not. I taught yoga, had a haircut, practiced yoga in a 3-hr 'hip opener' workshop, volunteered as a sous chef for my friend's pre-Mother's Day dinner, attended the quintessential beach bonfire gathering and bar-hopped in Laguna Beach until last call. Left home at 9am and got home at 2am. Somehow I managed to make it through this day without exhaustion, with a smile on my face and with a generally good vibe. Was it because I intended for it to be so?

Yes. However I also believe it was because of my perfect nap. The perfect nap wipes out all stray vessels in it's wake. It's like the perfect storm except instead of destruction it brings peace of mind. The perfect nap and the perfect storm both leave a calm after they pass. They both leave a sense of 'wiped out' thought where what was in place previously doesn't seem to matter so much. And both involve a deep sense of awe.

My nap took place post-teaching and pre-practicing yoga. I had 20 minutes to kill before my workshop. I was in Newport Beach, CA on a sunny balcony. On a warm bench. In my comfortable yoga clothes. I was tired from teaching but more mentally then physically. And I had the perfect length of time if I could pass out immediately. Which I did. I used my rolled up yoga mat as a pillow and put my yoga towel over my eyes to keep the strong California sunshine off my eyelids. I started to think how warm it was in the corner nook of the balcony I was in and .... zzzzzz.

I awoke, with no other recollections or disturbances, exactly 1 minute prior to the start of the workshop. I got up with almost no grogginess, walked into the workshop and eased my way into 180 minutes of hip opening. We eased into it both mentally and physically which really was the perfect end-cap to my nap.

I've had a few other naps that come close to this one but not quite as blissful albeit very memorable.

• I fell asleep after a LA to NY red-eye on a bench in the ritzy area of 79th and 5th Ave on the upper East side of Manhattan (5th ave borders central park). But I was woken up by a rude old lady who wanted to sit on the bench I was keeping so nice and warm. Crazy lady.
• A quality snooze in the Jardin du Luxembourg in Paris, France. I was again rudely awakened by a police officer who told me I couldn't sleep in the park. What else is a park for?!
• I believe I fell asleep on a beach cove at the Sydney zoo but I couldn't tell you where or for how long.

The rest is a blur. I was sleeping after all! But the Perfect Nap seemed somehow blog-worthy. It was a happy day. That's worth notating in any form.