For days now I've been in absolute shock. You see, it's not that I didn't realize that John McCain is an irrational war-mongering idiot; but rather I now see that I was blind to his complete lack of understanding of a fundamental fact: he is an old geezer.
There, I said it. McCain is an old geezer. He is obviously senile. Whereas sometime around 2002 I might have actually found McCain's anti-Republican-but-still-Republican message somewhat agreeable (after all, this was a man who didn't just bow to Bush's every whim) it is now apparent that he is crazy. An unfortunate reality folks. He not only now bows to Bush's every whim but also, in his complete denial of his own age, is pushing a crazed maniac from the Christian-right as his replacement for when he keels over in 18-24 months from heart-related issues.
Now then, I was going to take the time to rant about Palin's ignorance on everything from foreign policy to women's rights (rights which she apparently loves to have for her knocked-up 17-year-old daughter -- prominently featured with a bottle of Captain Morgan or some such thing on various websites) but I needn't do so. For the Daily Show has already completed my quest. Thanks Jon Stewart!
My opinion now is that McCain's perfect choice would have been an equally crazed 72-year-old Jewish grandmother with senile dementia. This would have been a knock-out choice, and I'll explain why.
First off, starvation for the poor of the USA would be a thing of the past because she'd forget we'd just eaten any gov't cheese and try to "feed the country" some more. Secondly, we'd all get tax rebates every Xmas because... well, because that's what Grandma's are good at, especially crazy ones. And lastly foreign heads-of-state dinner parties would be a riot. Just imagine the two of them forgetting everyone's name and slamming down a few swigs of Manischewitz blackberry wine and releasing some noxious gas fumes. What a scene it could have been. Alas, I'll be voting for Obama.