Monday, February 27, 2006
Some Time Later, He Wrote
Some time later the uncaped crusader finds himself 6-hrs worth of workshops to the wind and in something of a dazed state. The yard's clean now. The house is clean again. The unsettling clouds are forming on the horizon but are no longer inside my skull. Grin. Content and simple is life. I can walk and find what I need because it was there in the first place! And it's not all inside me; the external forces come to me when I'm open. So attraction is not just internal or just external. Rather my devotion to allowing an open state has brought a combination of solid foundation and new energy into life. She and he and they are abounding beneath the unturned rocks. And I don't turn them with my hands but with the energy I give off. The same energy that created a passionate frenzy of saliva in Opah or made me feel bliss in LB is making me settled. Oh if I could but have it all the time; so close.
The calls are less desperate now. The phone has returned to its former self: a phone. The nashing teeth have been capped and whitened. And really what's a friendly monster but a needy friend? I almost feel bad for the people around me now who don't have the bigger focus. Friday night I put on my best attitude and experienced true draw. Yes, draw. I swear to you I didn't make any particular attempt. But I kept leading with my heart and my eyes wide open. I'm good at that. Good at that now. I'm learning so quickly and it scares the bejesus out of me and excites me. Took my Sunday walk to the grocery store and actually related to James Taylor lyric in a way that made me think, "Is my life story that much longer now?" Yes, I think it probably is. And I'm all smiles about that.
Meditation is coming along. 3-hrs yesterday to achieve a decent 20 minutes. 20 minutes is 20 times more than most people get in a lifetime. And again I feel pity. Oh what they are missing! And I want to reach out to those in the present and make them understand. Then I want to make sure everyone knows in the future. And, most touching, I want to tell everyone in the past. Stop and feel and see where your 3rd eye points. Did it point at my heart? Did you want it to? Did I wish it?
New faces and new features bring new energy. That's what I allowed to come into my life. And like a new passion, new friend, new love it's wonderful. Norah says,
Truth spoke in whispers will tear you apart
No matter how hard you resist it
It never rains when you want it to
You humble me Lord
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