An Ode to Breakfast, Sugar and Tasty Treats

I don't understand folks who don't or won't eat breakfast. This was't really an issue for me until I started eating breakfast in lieu of dinner (that is, I had breakfast at breakfast time but I also had what one might classify as breakfast at dinner time). My appreciation for breakfast food has grown 2x fold now, of course. Just this week I've had home-made pancakes twice (for dinner), eggs, cinnamon toast, etc. What's not to like?!

How can the general populous not want to consume something as tasty as eggs and salsa, pancakes, or sugary cereal? We're talking about 250,000,000 Americans of whom 35% are obese because they sit on their fat asses all day and eat candy and complain that exercise is too hard. But they won't eat a bowl of frosted flakes?!?

I mean hell, the health sites are all saying you should eat breakfast to lose weight. The cereal industry even changed the names of their cereal to make it sound more appealing to those poor sugar-fearing souls. Sugar Smacks became Honey Smacks.



What the hell world do we live in? What's scary to me is that people are actually FOOLED! They think the cereal actually has less sugar in it or is better for you because the "Honey" version says it has 8 essential vitamins. For craps sake people, do you think some crazed magical bees came and put a special antioxidant pollen into your specific box of cereal? It's still sugar, it's still from Kellogg's, and it still tastes fucking great. Eat up America!

But lo and behold, that's NOT the only change in the cereal aisle. How about Post's brilliant marketing campaign to take the guy named SUGAR BEAR and change his pride and joy cereal, "Super Sugar Crisp" to "Golden Crisp".


I'm not fooled. The Sunmaid raisin lady did not sanction this cereal with her special golden powers and the bear still looks like he's so jacked up on sugar he's ready for a few cases of the new Coffee-based Coke.

The question becomes: are the American people scared of breakfast because the sugar cereal characters are actually crazed lunatic ax-murderers? If so, why is it ok to feed the cereal to their children but not for themselves? Come on people, get with the program. Eat your sugary breakfast and be happy. Doesn't it beat starving until 10am and then giving in to that urge to eat a Snicker's bar?

But I stray from my original point. Breakfast is a necessity. Make some time in your day for 1 week straight to eat breakfast. Challenge yourself. Don't you feel better? Your metabolism gets going, the juices start flowing and the body comes alive. No need to skip that morning coffee if you're one of the millions of caffeine addicts out there.

If you're feeling really spunky, make yourself some scrambled eggs. It takes approximately 90 seconds longer than getting out a bowl, milk, spoon and cereal and tastes just as good. Toast up an english muffin. Even the frozen waffle section of the grocery store has some lucrative offerings these days. Blueberry, banana, even chocolate.

Really, if you're going to eat that donut at the office then why are you fretting about a chocolate Eggo?! As in all things, routine and moderation. If there's one thing I've learned in my 3+ decades on this planet it's that the Spaghetti Monster wants to help you. With his noodly appendage he has created breakfast and therefore you should take advantage of the fruits of His labor.